


Inconceivable

by TreeTree



Category: Avengers, Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Civil War doesn't happen, Getting Together, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, M/M, The Princess Bride - Freeform, because I'm sick of all that angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 20:20:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7521775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TreeTree/pseuds/TreeTree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Tony meets Bucky Barnes, it doesn't go so well. That might be an understatement or maybe it's the understatement of the century. </p><p>(Or the time Tony made a Princess Bride reference that caused some unnecessary angst)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inconceivable

**Author's Note:**

> I was watching The Princess Bride last night and just got this idea for a fic involving Tony and Bucky. This is what it turned into.

The first time Tony meets Bucky Barnes, it doesn't go so well. That might be an understatement or maybe it's the understatement of the century. Tony's first thought when he saw Barnes for the first time wasn't about his dead parents, it was actually him questioning his own sanity. He had been down in the workshop for days without end and hallucinations were not uncommon after lack of sleep. 

Then Steve walked in and explained to him how he found Bucky buying plums in Bucharest two weeks ago. Steve's absence from the tower as of late made a lot more sense to Tony. He assured Tony that all of HYDRA's programming was gone from his best pal's head and he wouldn't kill everyone in their sleep. 

As Steve was explaining all of this, Barnes stood awkwardly next to him shifting from one foot to the other. Then, Tony, being Tony said something very stupid. Just because he's a genius does not mean that everything that comes out of his mouth is very smart. There are times when he forgets that not everyone understands his pop culture references and well, this was one of those times.

He held his hand out for Barnes to shake it, which he hesitantly accepted. Tony smiled at that, because it was a sign of trust. He'd seen the footage of the Winter Soldier from Steve's first encounter with him and the man standing before him was not the Winter Soldier. The man standing before him was Bucky Barnes. Bucky Barnes, who Aunt Peggy would tell him stories about. The same Bucky Barnes who was his first crush and who always protected Captain America like it was ingrained in his fucking DNA to do so.

As a child, Tony used to dream that Bucky Barnes would come and protect him from Howard's abuse the way he always protected Steve. As an adult, Tony thinks that his dream came true in a way. Also, Barnes was ridiculously hot. Like seriously, his jawline could cut glass. With all this in mind, the first thing Tony ever said to him was:

"My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die," with the accent and everything. 

Steve, who understood the reference, definitely knew Tony was joking. They'd been friends for years now and Steve knew that Tony didn't harbour any resentment towards Bucky. Barnes, on the other hand, did not understand the reference and he looked like he was about to cry. Never in his life did Tony regret saying something stupid more than he did at that very moment. 

"Sorry! I'm so sorry. I can't- I'll just... Sorry," Barnes blurted out before running for the door.

Steve gave Tony an assessing look before going after his friend. Despite everything, he probably had to check to make sure Tony didn't mean any harm. In the Captain America comics and in Aunt Peggy's stories, Bucky had always been a jokester. Tony's subconscious must have thought that he'd enjoy a joke to ease all of the tension that was in the room. 

As much as he wanted to go after Steve and Bucky, he didn't. Tony figured he had already done enough damage for one day. It sucked too, because he really did want to make a good first impression. He wanted Barnes to like him. After a week in the workshop, Tony went up to the communal kitchen because he had finally run out of coffee down there. He froze when he saw Barnes sitting on the counter eating a plum.

"Hi," Tony said quietly.

"Hi. Steve told me that what you said was from some movie, said it was just a joke. If you really want to kill me though, I won't stop you. God knows I deserve it," Barnes whispered.

"I don't want to kill you, Barnes. You are far more innocent than my father was, yet you were both victims of HYDRA."

"But it was still me who killed him. It was still my hands that killed him."

"Steve, Rhodey, and Bruce are the only other people who I've told this, but you obviously need to hear it. Howard's death was a relief to me, I was glad he was dead. I don't hate you for what Winter did, because I'm more grateful than anything," Tony admitted.

"I don't understand. He was your father and I killed him."

"Yeah? And he almost killed me several times before I was even a teenager. He got his kicks out of beating the shit out of me and telling me how undeserving of the Stark name I was. When I was a kid, I used to dream about you. Bucky Barnes protecting me from my father the way he always protected Captain America," Tony yelled.

Bucky looked taken aback. It was obvious that he hadn't expected that to come out of Tony's mouth. Tony was kind of in shock too, because he never really meant to go too much into detail about it. Nobody knew about his dreams except Peggy and she was long gone. Tony wished that she could have been around long enough to see his dream come true. He tried to tell her once, a few weeks before she passed. She kept calling him Howard and telling him that he had better start treating his son better because she was Peggy Carter and she would protect the people she loved. 

"Why me? Why not dream of Steve saving you?," Bucky asked.

"Because I always liked you better. Aunt Peggy used to say that I reminded her of you and that while not everyone could be Captain America, they could still try to be Bucky Barnes. Try to be as loyal and determined as he was without the super solider serum. It hurt too much to talk about Steve, so she would tell me stories about you all the time."

"So, you don't hate me or want me dead?"

"Of course not! You were basically my first crush," Tony said before clamping a hand over his mouth after realizing what he had said.

There was a sudden change in Bucky's entire demeanour. He sat up a bit straighter and his frown became that cocky smirk that Tony had always fantasized about seeing directed at him. 

"Do you tell all of your crushes that you're going to kill them when you first meet?," Bucky asked sounding far too amused.

"Yes, actually. You know, I think that's why I have so many restraining orders and so few dates," Tony snarked right back.

"What a shame. Maybe we could watch this movie that's caused so many problems for us then," Bucky tried to sound nonchalant but Tony could tell there was uncertainty in his suggestion.

"I'll make the popcorn," Tony replied softly.

Fifteen minutes later, they were on the couch in front of Tony's huge-ass TV with a huge-ass bowl of popcorn between them. Jarvis started up the movie and Tony let himself get sucked into the world of Buttercup and Wesley. 

Bucky smiled the first time Inigo Montoya said his signature line for the first time during his first meeting with Wesley. That one smile made something flutter inside of Tony's heart and he knew he was so screwed because Bucky was so much better in person than in the stories. 

When Wesley was getting tortured, it was Tony who gripped Bucky's hand with the strength of a hundred people. After Afghanistan, those scenes were hard to watch. Though Wesley wasn't tortured using water, water powered the machine that did the torturing. The sound of water and screams were never a good thing for Tony. Bucky thought that Tony was doing it for his sake at first but then he saw Tony's face. He pulled Tony flush against his side and held him tightly after that. 

Tony definitely did not tear up at the end when Buttercup and Wesley kiss on the horses. Okay, so maybe he did, but so did Bucky. For a while after the movie ended, they just sat there in silence. Tony turned to look at Bucky and he suddenly felt lips on his own. The kiss was soft and sweet and didn't last for very long. It was also kind of perfect. 

"We should go out to dinner. Let's go right now," Tony said.

"Tony, it's three o'clock in the morning."

"It is? Oh, it really is. Wait, why were you in the kitchen at like one a.m.?," Tony asked.

"Rough night. You made it better though. Thank you for not treating me like a broken china doll," Bucky whispered.

"You're not broken, James. If you are, then all of us are too. In case you haven't noticed, the Avengers are not the picture of sanity or mental stability."

Bucky laughed at that. It was a soft laugh that Tony wanted to hear every day for the foreseeable future. Steve was probably going to give him the shovel talk of the millennium when he found out about Tony's feelings. Tony also knew that Rhodey would do the very same to Bucky. An idea to play matchmaker popped into his head, but he would save that for another day. 

Six months later, Tony's life had changed drastically. Bucky moved into the penthouse with him and they became disgustingly domestic. Clint was always complaining about it, but he was just jealous because he didn't have a hot super soldier boyfriend like Tony.

He was right about the shovel talk from Steve, it was terrifying. Mostly because he and Natasha decided to team up to threaten him. When he told Bucky, he just laughed. His boyfriend wasn't laughing two weeks later when Rhodey, Pepper, Bruce and Jarvis sat him down and had a little chat. 

Jane once made the mistake of choosing The Princess Bride for movie night. Tony and Bucky spent the whole movie cuddled close together and reciting Buttercup and Wesley's dialogue to one another. Whenever the couple onscreen kissed, Tony and Bucky would too. Clint kept throwing inanimate objects at them, but not once did it stop them. Steve and Rhodey just kind of smiled, because they were the only ones who knew what this movie meant to them. 

Sam pointed out that Bucky would be Wesley and Tony would be Princess Buttercup. Tony tried to protest and say he was nothing like Buttercup, but soon everyone was making comparisons.

"I don't care if Tony's the princess, because he's still my princess," Bucky said.

His words did something nobody thought was possible. He made Tony Stark blush. Steve, the little shit, pointed it out. Tony tried to hide his face in Bucky's chest but it was too late for that. Bucky just kissed the top of his head and stroked his hair. That was when Tony realized that this was it. This was his happy ending. He never thought he'd get one of those, but there it was right in front of him. He didn't stop smiling for the rest of the night.


End file.
